psychology

Transform Fears with Dream Write for Kids

/ Sheri / Leave a comment
Dream Write is a children’s book that helps kids of all ages feel empowered to face their fears.

Years ago, I had a recurring nightmare: I was at a college I didn’t know, scheduled to take classes I didn’t recall signing up for, with no money and no means of actually making it to campus.

And while that may sound like a first world problem kind of bad dream, we all know how real a dream feels.

 In fact, how often have we tried to describe a dream to a loved one and have fallen short?😩 Our words don’t quite articulate the feelings experienced in said dream.

experienced in said dream.

The Game Changer

A cognitive psychologist had suggested I write down what I wanted to experience in my dream instead of what woke me up repeatedly filled with angst.

Not wanting to experience another night in waking to a puddle of sweat and a racing heart, I took her advice. I gave myself a brand new Range Rover, put five-hundred bucks in my wallet and chose a school and major that I wanted to study.

That night, I dreamed what I had written down.💡

It Gets Better

The power of our imagination. Dream Write inspires kids (of all ages) to transform their fears. (Photo credit: Bill Megenhardt)

Months later, my son was afraid to go to sleep. As a young child, he was afraid of seeing a grizzly bear attacking him in his dreams.

I’d thought of how my fearful dream had never returned, since the night I changed my dream through words.🤔

“You just need to Dream Write.”

The words were out of my mouth as if from some divine force. Together, we changed his fearful thought of bears into a funny story of a cuddly cub bear who wears a tutu and dangling earrings, replete with red lipstick.💄

To this day, my now grown son uses dream writing to help him transform his imagination to work for, not against him.

Each of us has the power to dream write.✍️

Dream Write Launches

No more scary, grizzly bear. How cute is this cub bear?🧸 (Photo credit: Bill Megenhardt)

My children’s book, Dream Write launched on Amazon late last week. It is a story about the power of our imagination and the power of the magic wand (✏️) we can choose to use each time we feel stuck or fearful.

Dream Write encourages children (of all ages) to discover their own inner power. Through an entertaining story and the cognitive game-changing tool of writing, we are reminded that we always have the agency to choose again. 

Not Just for Kids

The reader can be kids of all ages. This book is a call to action for YOU. (photo credit: Bill Megenhardt)

Dream Write ends with a writing prompt for the reader:

“It’s normal to have scary dreams sometimes. Share a scary dream you’ve had with someone you love. How would you write it differently? If it’s easier, you can write in pictures, too! The key is to change your story to something you want to happen.” Dream Write

Maybe you are considering going for a career change. Dream writing can be used for this as well. Fears — as we well know — are not limited to elementary-aged kids. We all experience them. Dream writing offers an effective tool to transform our fears into wonderful possibility. 

Oreo Cookie Thinking

/ Sheri / Leave a comment

The anxiety-driven thought process that isn’t good for anyone.

Oreo Cookie Thinking only feeds anxiety.

The homework assignment was easy enough: multiply each number by two.

My niece: I got this, Mom! I don’t need your help.

So, my sister left her daughter to work solo.

When the Problem Isn’t the Problem

My niece had completed the assignment correctly, multiplying each number as directed. But she had also added up each number — something that wasn’t part of the assignment.

When my sister pointed this out, all hell broke loose.

Forget it! I’m bad at math. I hate math. 

The problem wasn’t the math itself or my niece’s ability to do math. The real issue: all or nothing thinking.

It didn’t matter that:

  • my sister had pointed out what a great job her daughter did on the math homework.
  • my niece had, in fact, gotten all of the multiplication correct 

All my niece “heard” was the all-or-nothing inner dialogue waging war on her self-esteem:

  • I’m horrible at math.
  • I hate math.
  • The issue must be me, but instead of acknowledging this, I will hide behind hating math itself.

Oreo Cookies Are Only Good for Eating

Black or white thinking is a form of cognitive distortion that we all have to some extent. Believing that things are all good or bad, right or wrong. 

If we think of black-or-white thinking as an Oreo cookie, it helps us catch ourselves when we fall into the mental quicksand of dualistic thinking.

Oreo cookies are delicious to eat, but we don’t want to dwell in a black-or-white mindset.

When we keep Oreos in our kitchen pantries and not in our minds, we offer ourselves, and the world around us, greater compassion. 

The Skittles Life

Taste the rainbow of wonderful possibility with Skittles Thinking.

You know those high-fructose corn syrup rainbow candies? Now that’s the mental candy lifestyle that fosters a more flexible mindset.

Accepting our inner and outer world as colorful, ever changing, and perfectly imperfect allows us to grow more empathic to ourselves and others.

Life starts to look a lot more forgiving and wonderful when we see through the lens of kindness.

Oreo Thinking vs. Skittles Thinking

Oreo Thinking sounds like this:

  • I didn’t get chosen for the play because I have no talent.
  • He didn’t call because I’m unloveable.
  • I failed the test because I’m stupid.

Skittles Thinking sounds like this:

  • While it’s disappointing I didn’t get into the play, I look forward to joining the crew.
  • I miss talking to him; I’ll send him a text to say hello.
  • I know the material but allowed my nerves to get the best of me. I’ll speak to the teacher and ask if there’s a way for me to demonstrate my understanding of the material.

Fun with Food

Cognitive distortion sounds so serious, so off-putting to kids (and adults). The analogy of food makes cultivating awareness of cognitive errors much more palatable (and downright fun:-)

So, the next time you find yourself growing anxious about something, ask yourself:

Am I entering into Oreo Cooking Thinking?

Chances are, if you are feeling stressed or upset about something, there’s a strong likelihood you’ve entered into the all-or-nothing quicksand.

No worries — it’s never too late to put down that mental Oreo. 

And the great news: if you are flying high and in an easy-peasy mood, it’s likely you’ve picked up a mental bag of Skittles.

The choice is always in our cognitive hands.