One of my student’s recently got her mouth pierced. She’s thirty-five, so it goes without saying that she looks beautiful — with or without the shiny loop piercing her lip.

“Do you like it?”

I tell her the truth: I like it for her. At over half a century on planet Earth, the last thing I need is another hole to maintain.🤨

But at thirty-five, she isn’t thinking about potential infections or the additional care needed to keep the new piercing clean. She is that five letter word of yesterday: YOUNG.

She laughs at my response and adds with the casual lack-of-perspective youth carries: 

“Oh, I get it. I’m only going to wear this for another five years. When I’m forty, I will be too old to get away with something like this.”

Math has never been my strong suit, but in five years she will still be miles younger than me. And I’m happy for the ample chronological chapters before her, but the zinger from her words still stings: “too old” at forty😣.

The Unspoken Menopause

Scientifically, biologically:

“Menopause is a point in time when a person has gone 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period. Menopause is a natural part of aging and marks the end of your reproductive years.”-Cleveland Clinic

But menopause is so much more than the cessation of a menstrual cycle. Yes, it’s the end of a woman’s reproductive years, but this is no small thing. And there are physical and emotional changes that occur as a result of these clinically-sterile sounding biological facts.

Menopause can be a celebration of freedom (white sheets ahead!) and empowerment when a woman gets through the often rollercoaster experience of perimenopause.

But menopause also requires us mourning who we once were and will no longer be.

Mourning in menopause, we can realize that we:

😔no longer have a glass of water without our bellies waxing five months pregnant.

😔 notice the scale start to go up faster than we like

😔 see a dark mustache forming ever more frequently (who has time for an extra piercing now?)

😔 finally understand the menopausal phenomenon of needing to watch everything from your A1C to your readers’ prescription

So, what do we want?🤨

“We want what men want. Everybody wants to look younger. And gravity is making that impossible.”-Cathy Ladman

We want what women have always wanted: humor, love, and to feel good.

Humor is menopause’s best magic pill. Through the aperture of humor, I can laugh at my student’s comment from the generous perspective time has granted me. At 35, 40 sounded “old” to me too. 

In the middle, with the figurative sands of time in the hourglass between birth and death, we can choose to both mourn what has passed and embrace what we have.

The crazy thing is, I appreciate more now that Time’s hourglass has dispensed plenty of sand in the past.

I appreciate my chiropractor keeping my back in alignment and the sound of birds that greet me each morning. 

Menopause is Mother Nature’s reminder that this ride called life will end at some point. So, we need to take care of and love the “equipment” we have while we have it (even if said equipment is a little worn out and in need of a low-carb diet and tweezers for stubborn chin hairs😉).

Mourn+Find Humor+Appreciate+Embrace=Enjoy the Ride

(Rinse and Repeat)

And just like the sign that reads on the ceiling of my gyno’s office:

“This too shall pass.”